exist many types of families and as many parenting styles as there are family types. Without a doubt, all parents try to educate their children in the best possible way. And we all make mistakes. However, there are some basic guidelines that benefit children, and we will call this type of education wise parenting.
Do you want to know what it consists of? What are those basic educational guidelines? They are the opposite of the education model based on overprotection. Here are up to 10 differences between wise parenting and protective parenting.
Have you ever heard of wise parenting? It is that education based on the improvement of the autonomy and independence of the children. This is intended to enhance their skills, consciences, and improve their self-esteem, a basic pillar so that they are able to achieve everything they set out to do.
Nevertheless, overprotective parenting It is one that is based on protecting the child and solving all the problems so that they do not fall into errors, hurt themselves or suffer some frustration. An education that in the end ends up preventing the child's autonomy.
However, a more autonomous and independent child is better prepared to learn, absorb new knowledge, face changes and challenges ... hence the importance of creating greater autonomy in them from a very young age. Faced with this type of education, there is one based on overprotection and mistrust. Here are the 10 basic differences between wise parenting and protective parenting:
1. 'Trust in children' vs 'Mistrust'. While in wise parenting, parents offer their children challenges and tasks without constantly supervising what they do, overprotective parents will be unable to walk away while their children perform a task without looking or glancing ... and even finishing their homework. For example, imagine you ask your 9-year-old to do dishes ... While wise parenting parents will go about their business, fully confident that their child will do the dishes well, overprotective parents will be wary , and they'll stay tuned to see if he scrubs them right or they have to go over what he did.
2. 'They can achieve what they propose themselves' vs 'They can achieve what they propose'. The wise family is one that dedicates a great effort to improve the self-esteem of their children, because they are convinced that the most important thing for their children to achieve their achievements is that they believe that they can do what they propose, and that they can do it. alone, without the help of others. The most typical families believe that their children can achieve what they want with effort, but that 'nuance' that adds a wise upbringing in the end is missing ... 'get what they propose for themselves'. In other words, wise parenting, in this sense, believes in greater autonomy for children so that they are aware that they can achieve achievements on their own.
3. 'Effort and perseverance' vs. 'It is due to lack of maturity'. When you learn something new, the most normal thing is that it does not go well from the beginning. Even more so, young children, who start from scratch and with still developing physical abilities. Imagine that your child is learning to tie his shoelaces. The family based on traditional upbringing will lovingly explain to the child that nothing happens because they don't succeed, because they are still small, and the mother or father will end up finishing the task of tying the shoelaces. In the case of the wise family, the parents will insist that the child try again, and will explain, patiently, that the goals are achieved through attempts and more attempts and that eventually one day he will succeed. And before helping, they will let you try a few times.
4. 'The important thing is that they have fun' vs 'You can have fun but without getting dirty'. The obsession of many parents with cleanliness means that their children cannot enjoy outdoor games, such as jumping freely down slides, jumping in puddles ... The wise family understands that children should get dirty and they do not care. to stains.
5. 'Let them play and jump whatever they want' vs 'Calm down now and stop running'. Children are restless by nature, but some have a lot of energy, so much so that some parents get exhausted and decide to 'stop' their children with the typical phrases: 'can you be still now?' 'Stop running!'. If they don't bother anyone with their excessive activity, why stop them? Wise parents let them run as long as they want, until they run out.
6. 'I accept some disorder' vs 'No disorder'. It is true that you have to educate your children to be orderly, but without obsessing over it. When a child plays, it is normal for him to take out all the toys. Wise parents leave freedom for their children to be messy and then encourage them to collect everything, while overprotective parents do not leave them freedom to mess up anything avoiding that 'they are the ones who collect everything later'.
7. 'More reasonable freedom' vs 'Less freedom and more restrictions'. Wise parents give their children greater freedom, but as long as they do not exceed the limits, such as respect. The most overprotective parents are usually also the most strict. In your home, endless rules and restrictions prevail.
8. 'Believe in the child's self-control' vs 'Only punishments work'. Wise parents trust their child's self-control and prefer not to punish, but to establish certain norms that help the child to think of others. In overprotective families, there are so many limits and norms that punishment is used a lot.
9. 'Parents are the ones who guide the child' vs 'Parents are the bosses'. You may not notice the difference between the two statements, but there is: in the first case, the children know that the parents are above and see them as a reference to follow, while in the second case, it is more of a 'power by domination. ' In this case, the children understand that the parents are the bosses, they establish a series of rules and they must be followed.
10. 'Yes to praise' vs. 'Do not overdo it with praise'. It is true that there is a modern school in psychology who argue that excessive praise can create a narcissistic child, but wise parents nevertheless take pride in each achievement of their child and do not hesitate to praise him for it.
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