How to organize the distribution of children's expenses after a divorce

A divorce or separation is not a pleasant situation for adults, and even less if they have children. Adults go through great changes in their lives that affect many levels of their life, (personal, social, economic, emotional ...) that they have to manage on a personal level, but when there are children involved, in addition to the consequences personal, they have to deal with the consequences that this new situation has on their children.

They not only have to face the emotional part, they also have to manage and distribute the expenses of the children after a divorce, and this can lead to confrontations.

The ideal separation or divorce does not exist, but with regard to the children we have to always try to make sure that this situation affects them as little as possible, (within which we cannot avoid the consequences for them). By this we mean that they should stay out of adult problems. Outside of arguments, reproaches and fights between the members of the couple, or former partner.

When there is a separation or divorce, one of the things that must be agreed between both parties is the economic issue. A delicate subject and that in many cases is the aspect that causes the most problems. Ideally, both parties reach an agreement on this issue, without posing an added problem and without having to resort to lawsuits in which the children may be involved, if only because of the tension it entails.

When we separate, we must never lose sight of the well-being of the children, that they have their needs covered and that their lives and routines change as little as possible (after school, school, etc ...)

The distribution of expenses and the amount of the pension in each case depends on several factors (the economic situation of each spouse among others) and normally it is lawyers and judges who agree and establish the "pensions".

What we always have to try is to find a fair situation for the children, leaving out the possible emotional implications of adults, and in which the children's needs are always covered and do not change with respect to the predivorce situation.

With the economic issue should not be played, nor should it be a throwing weapon between the spouses. We cannot lose sight of the well-being of children, which must come first. We must not forget that the money we contribute in the separation is money for the children.

Good communication will also be important regarding the "extra" expenses that may arise, and always look for the good of the children and not for the interests of adults.

It will always be important to avoid comments such as, "you cannot go to this activity because your mother / father does not pay me or does not want to give the money", or "I buy this with my money because my father / mother does not want to buy it for you" .

That is to say, we must leave them out of all conflict and try to make the children see that if something that cannot be done financially is a decision made by both parties and not just by one.

We cannot forget that when we separate, we are adults, and not children. We split up, and the family changes, but it's still there. Children still have father and mother, uncles, grandparents, and although the "logistics" changes, it should not do the essentials.

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Video: The Group Hug Community - Talk to those also going through Divorce, Separation or Bereavement (December 2021).