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The crying of children is one of the things that can most despair and worry us as parents, especially when that cry is very intense, so much so that the child ends up screaming instead of crying.
When they are babies, the crying intensifies when the child does not calm down, and the crying itself makes them nervous, restless and uncomfortable, so they cry even more and the crying is increasingly intense. They still do not have control over themselves or their emotions or their needs and they do not know how to "cool down." This is what we can do with children who cry loudly.
Emotional self-regulation refers to the "strategies we use to adjust the intensity and duration of our emotional states until reaching a comfortable level that does not impede the achievement of our goals" (Thompson, 1994). Good emotional self-regulation during the first years of life contributes to autonomy and the development of social interaction skills.
As we have said before, babies in the first months of life do not control their emotions, and it is the caregivers who, from the outside, regulate the baby's emotions, calming his crying, reassuring him when he is nervous, etc.
Slowly Babies develop skills that help make these "negative" emotions less intense and long-lasting (they learn to calm themselves, for example by sucking on the loudest pacifier or sucking on the finger). It will be when they learn to walk or move independently and, above all, when they begin to speak, when they can begin to express and manage their emotions and acquire more emotional control strategies. They can tell us what is wrong with them, they can "run away" from something that scares them or ask for help.
Crying in children and their emotional reactions, in addition to the evolutionary moment, are closely related to the temperament of each child.
We refer to temperament as "a series of biologically determined individual dispositions that are relatively consistent over time" (Rothbart and Bates, 1998). These dispositions are related to emotion and behavior, and are understood as a tendency of each one, which is malleable. That is, that biological profile, (which is had from birth) makes it very likely that a child is in a certain way, (such as being fearful, or more sensitive or more restless), but it does not guarantee 100% that it is. , (the environment, education, parenting guidelines also influence ...)
But something that we cannot forget either, is the role of adults in all this. Some of the children who cry intensely, who are difficult to calm, who scream, will be within what experts call "difficult temperament style". But there will be other children, who are not necessarily children with a difficult temperament, who may show those behaviors as well.
An "easy" child can become difficult if the demands, demands and guidelines of their caregivers are inadequate, and a "difficult" child can have a positive change in his behavior if we are sensitive to his characteristics, more patient, tolerant and understanding.
So it will be important to understand why the child cries, and how he cries to know how to handle it properly, (based on what we have mentioned above).
- If a baby is not cared for when he cries, he will cry more and more intensely because it is their way of expressing discomfort and claiming attention.
- A more sensitive child will have a higher crying intensity and it will also be important to help him calm down and reassure him.
- But also a child who gets frustrated easily, demanding with others, or who does not know how to wait, will cry and scream if we do not attend to their demands or demands, (children who use crying to demand attention and the less we give it the more they scream and cry).
Therefore, before children who cry intensely to the point of screaming, the guidelines will be different depending on the reason for this situation. Let's not forget that depending on the age of the child, it will be more or less easy for them to calm down and regulate themselves.
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