There are many styles of parents, however, it is a fact that ehe ideal scenario for any child is that of emotionally mature parents, who know how to find a balance in their parenting style, giving their children security, limits, trust and time so that they are able to integrate into the world in the best way.
However, it is a reality that not everyone is at the necessary level of emotional maturity when the great challenge of raising children comes to them, either because they are very young or because they simply have not managed to find balance in their own lives. We explain what happens with the children of emotionally immature parents.
These are some characteristics of emotionally immature parents (find out if you meet any of these characteristics):
- They seek immediate gratification and the activities that make them happy, everything that does NOT generate this feeling, produces discomfort and a feeling of wasting time, so they prefer to avoid them; there are those who behave like eternal adolescents who are not willing to sacrifice their desires for the needs of their children.
- They are impulsive and sometimes they do not dimension dangerous situations to which they or their children may be exposed.
- They avoid taking responsibility, establish limits and enforce them, for which they end up justifying any negative behavior of their children before assuming it as an issue that concerns them; They blame the school for any negative situation or any external factor that allows them to distance themselves from the situation.
- They are not very sensitive to the needs of others. They never seem to become aware of situations in which someone else is affected by their carelessness in setting limits, from their own children, to those around them and suffering the consequences.
- They do not dedicate enough time, dedication and effort to the process of training their children and sometimes they even delegate this task to third parties. (older children, grandparents, etc).
- They fear losing the "friendship" of their children " if they set limits; they prefer the philosophy of letting them do whatever they want so that they are "free and autonomous and no one tells them what to do."
- They get angry and irritated easily if any of these aspects are pointed out to them. It is difficult for them to accept criticism.
- Have difficulty following rules and they constantly "jump" them.
And then how children or adolescents are affected with parents who have these characteristics? Obviously, children and young people who suffer this type of upbringing are affected in an important and permanent way. These are some of the effects that they can suffer:
- Many children are subjected to assuming responsibilities that do not correspond to them, even taking care of their little brothers; which generates a feeling of helplessness and insecurity at a time when they should only enjoy and assume only issues of their age.
- Having such an immature role model to follow, it is easy for them to assume similar patterns in their adult lives, breaking rules, seeking only gratification and avoiding responsibility.
- They develop little tolerance for frustration, especially those who were raised without limits so it becomes very difficult for them to adapt to the different environments in which they develop as children and later as adults.
- They may be more vulnerable to anxiety, falling into addictions, eating disorders or other conditions looking for an escape.
If you detect some of these characteristics in your parenting style, it is time to accept that it is necessary to seek help, make changes and find balance. Nothing more valuable than the happiness of your child to make it worthwhile.
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