'Loving yourself does NOT mean you are Selfish'. In fact ... how much love we lack! We have the habit of looking for what we lack outside of ourselves. Waiting for others to give us 'that' that we lack. And from this starting point: how are we going to teach our children 'that' that we lack if we are waiting for someone to give it to us?
First of all, we should be clear about the differences between selfishness and self-love. In this way, we can teach self-love to our children. We explain how.
To teach our children to love each other more and to gain self-love, we must be clear about the differences with the concept of selfishness. Thus, we are going to clarify a series of differences that will make the concepts of Self Love vs. Selfishness clearer:
1. Teach your child to think of him first
To begin with, the egoist only thinks of himself, while those who have self-esteem think first of him and then of others.
2. Teach your child to have empathy
The egoist does not empathize with others, because he needs to think about them, being dedicated only to him. He who has Self-Love, palisades with others, because others care.
3. Teach your child to listen to others
Being the center of attention is the preferred state of an egoist, however, a person with self-love, acts from listening to others, to be able to contribute or support the person with whom they are.
4. Teach your child to accept criticism
Of course, an egotist does not accept criticism, while a person who has self-esteem is willing to listen to others, to analyze what can be improved, and from there, continue learning.
5. Teach your child to be generous
An egoist only cooperates with others, if he is going to receive a benefit in return, and a person with self-love is generous, he loves to collaborate with others, for the simple fact of feeling useful and generous.
6. Teach your child to think about his inner peace
The selfish, as they only look at their world, feel above others, while a person with self-love, thinks about it first, to feel better and thus, contribute the best of it to others.
Remember that, as a father or mother, you cannot give true love to others, if you have not been filled with love before; And I am not referring to the love that others give us, that the only thing they really do is enhance what I have for me; Rather, to the love that each one of us has to give to himself, to later give the best that we have. Do not expect others to occupy that space of you called self-love.
As parents, this should be our main message to our children: first you, first think and feel for yourself, however, it is not necessary that we say it or repeat it constantly, we simply show them how to do it, they will learn.
Be the role model you want to reflect on your child. So, before covering the needs of others, cover your own needs and thus, you will be giving the best of yourself in every moment of the relationship. And prioritizing needs, from being well to giving the best of yourself to others, is not selfish either.
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