To talk of educate children positively, we have to start by clarifying what it is not. Educating positively is not avoiding the word no, it is not not setting limits to children, it is not letting them do whatever they want.
Educating positively is educating children so that they learn and develop but from understanding, affection, trust ... It is speaking well to our children, it is accepting their abilities and limitations at all times, it is motivating, supporting, favoring them May they grow up with self-confidence and strong, positive self-esteem. It is educating from love by setting rules and limits.
1. Something fundamental to educate our children is patience. It is something that our work as parents requires of us. Tons of patience !!!!! and it is something that cannot be exhausted, no matter how tired we are.
Along with patience, it is essential to understand and know our children according to their stage of development. Many times we ask them for things that they are not prepared for or we want them to do things without having taught them before because "they are older." And children to learn, they need us to teach them. I cannot require the child to pick up the toys if I have not taught him how to do it before. We also cannot forget that all learning takes time, so once again, we will need patience.
2. Educating positively does not mean not setting norms and limits or eliminating no from our discourse.The rules, limits, responsibilities, are essential for a healthy development of the child, (They provide security in their environment and in themselves). But we cannot forget that the rules to be fulfilled must be known, so we must teach them to children, as well as make it clear to them what happens if they do not comply with them and reward good behavior. The sanctions that we impose on children must be proportional to what they have done, be clear and firm, and not be imposed from the anger and rage that what the child has done causes me.
3. Another important aspect is the language we use when we speak to children. Avoid yelling or badmouthing children, (You are dirty, you are unbearable ...), using language appropriate to their age, treating them with respect ... is essential to educate positively.
4. It is also important to take care of communication, let them express themselves, listen to them, and show that they are listened to and give importance to what our children tell us. Understand that the things that worry or intrigue them, although they may seem unimportant to us, they do. Feeling that we listen to them is fundamental for them, creates a positive bond with parents, generates security and confidence in themselves.
5. Express the rules positively, which is nothing more than saying the same thing in a different language. Instead of "you can't eat chocolate without my permission," say, if you want to eat chocolate, ask me.
6. Give them little by little the opportunity to take decisions and to be able to participate in the establishment of norms, according to their age and development. It is not that they can decide if they want to go to school or not, but they can choose if they prefer to go skating or judo after school.
7. Lastly, giving and showing affection is essential. Never use affection as an element for blackmail, (I don't like you when you cry, until you stop crying I will not listen to you ...).
In summary, educating positively, is educating from assertiveness, from understanding, from the knowledge about how the child is at each stage of development, from the respect ... It is NOT to let the children do what they want, but to assume a more democratic educational style, recognizing the capacities and abilities of the children.
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